the first day was heartbreaking. i woke up an hour earlier so i could get fully ready to walk out the door, and just spend some time with her. BUT she was still asleep and so was joey- so i didnt wanna wake her selfishly. i just stood by her crib and whispered 'i love you'...and cried. a lot. then proceeded to cry the whole way to work. i managed to get my self together before walking into the office though. brittany even had a card, and amazing smelling yankee candle waiting for me to welcome me back- she's a good friend :)
once i got to work i started putting pictures of adelynn everywhere. then i set up our digital frame from home, that joey filled with pictures of adelynn. i put it right next to my computer screen so i can stare at her all day long. i did well at work- i didnt cry! i got down a couple times but didnt shed a tear. i missed her all day long though. we got the baby connect app- me, joey, and jackie-- so jackie updates it throughout the day so i know when shes sleeping, eating, diaper changes, etc. 1. it helps us keep track of her feeding/sleeping schedule but 2. it makes me feel like im still connected with her throughout the day, i know what shes doin' all the time, so its nice. I left at 5pm on the DOT and got to jackie's in record time-20 minutes. she was asleep when i got there, but when we got home she opened her eyes and looked at me--and smiled SO BIG it made me tear up. i think she missed her mommy :)
today was easier, no tears. i teared up a couple times, especially on my lunch break- started looking through all her pictures/videos on my phone and it made my heart hurt i missed her so bad. now we're home, and i've just been cuddling with her like crazy. i'm down tonight cause i just wish i could stay home with her. i hate leaving her every day. i dont want to miss a THING. i want to be the one to take care of her, raise her, teach her, laugh with her- everything! i miss my baby, plain n simple.
works going well-- my brain is MUSH and its only tuesday- havent worked it this hard since march, but i'm hangin' in there. it makes it easier having friends at work- they arent just coworkers there- theyre friends! candace and britt help me so much.
i'm down 60 ibs and still goin' strong. ive been taking my lunch- small,healthy portions- and no soda! 2 cups of coffee in the moring, then water the rest of the day! hoping i can keep it going.
well i've got a baby girl to go love on before she falls asleep, so thats all for now!
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