Tuesday, October 29, 2013

the last few weeks.

well hey there old friend, its been a minute!

so when we last left off, we had found a home but it didn't work out, right? Well lets start there.

First, we're both thankful the home didn't work out. We were blown away by the size and price, not really looking closely at the actual house. We were under the impression we wouldn't find what we wanted, and what we could afford, in Lilburn- which is where we wanted to be. It was a blessing that the home failed inspection!

We ended up deciding to put things on hold, because we didn't want to rush or settle. However, one home came on the market and caught our eye! Pictures online and the actual home can be two different things so I didn't get my hopes up too high. To save ourselves some money on inspection (sucks to pay all that money for it to fail, then have to do it all over again) we brought my brother along since he has years of experience in construction. Long story short, we fell in love. It had everything we wanted! It had only been on the market a couple days, and we knew it would go fast- so we put in an offer right away.

We closed on the Loganville home, and man it was more emotional than I thought it would be! It was very bitter sweet. We actually became friends with the lady who bought our home, which just makes it easier- and awesome that we got a friend out of it :) We've been keeping in touch with her, and I know she'll love the home as much as we did for the last four years.



Our two closing dates were about a week apart so we threw everything in to storage and moved in with my in-laws till we could move in to the new home. During all of this a lot happened: Adelynn started a new daycare, Grandma Brown passed away, Joey threw out his dang back & got a borderline hernia, and our baby girl was having a difficult time...and still is.

We finally made it to closing day on 10/18! Turns out the people we bought the home from moved right near my Dad and met him at his garage sale, ha! Their daughter and son-in-law both went to YHC! Small world, so meant to be!! We went straight from closing to the house, one because we were excited but also so we could paint Adelynn's room right away. It was important to me her room be as familiar as possible so she could get comfortable right away. We actually went ahead and started moving stuff in which was great- we got a ton done!

Saturday we moved everything else with the help of a moving company, and I unpacked in record speed. As they brought boxes in, I was unpacking and putting everything in its place. We got everything all finished up, and we spent our first night in the home.




we are about a mile from my dad, brother, neices, etc. We are IN the same neighborhood as one of my SILs, her husband and our three nephews. AND just a few miles from my in-laws. We also managed to cut our commutes more than in half- which is awesome. My hour long drive is now only 15 minutes!

All awesome right? Should be. We were thrilled to finally make this happen, we've been working toward it for a long time and we adore this house.

Adelynn started having a hard time while we were still at my in-laws. She was screaming crying, inconsolable ALL night long. It was awful. We started thinking maybe she had an ear infection. She did it again our first night in the new home, and by 8pm I knew we couldn't do it again. So we loaded up and drove to the ER. We were there for what felt like forever, with her screaming away. At one point I went in to a room off to the side of the lobby, and just started sobbing. We were all exhausted, and I couldn't handle the screaming anymore. I was sure it was an ear infection- it had to be- cause this was not my child. They checked her out finally around 11pm and she was just fine. We were so confused. We got home a little after midnight, and shockingly she went right to sleep no fuss, and slept till 8am!



Wake up Sunday morning and realize we have no coffee-- really, no groceries-- so joey went to go run out and get some stuff...and discovered my window shattered. Welcome to the neighborhood right? What else could happen??
Whoever did it left a pair of shoes, a brick, and a screw driver. We heard later a teen was arrested for minor in possession of alcohol, burglary, and breaking/entering in to vehicles all up and down the main road- so we're pretty sure thats our guy. We're still working on getting in touch with the detective to try and link the case- in the mean time my window is fixed, thank goodness. Initially we thought he didn't take anything- there was still a purse in there, my GPS, iPod, joey's amp, etc. But after searching for my purse I realized he must have taken it. We had all kinds of stuff in my car from moving, so I saw a purse and just assumed...not really thinking- the purse I was actually using with all my stuff in it was gone. Thankfully my wallet was in the diaper bag inside from the ER the night before. But my glasses (over $200) I'd just gotten were in there, and it was the purse Joey got for me ($60)back around Mothers Day. Super bummed. Paid $100 to fix the window too. Shit head. Hopefully we can get something back...we'll see.

You'd think that would be the end of our bad luck...but its not.

After the weekend we were still dealing with a very unhappy baby. Followed up with the pediatrician and he is pretty confident its due to all the changes: new daycare, dropping down to one nap a day, moving from the old house to my in-laws, then again in to the new house, etc. He said at this age she doesn't know how to express herself, and she feels unstable with her routine being SO shaken up. So, hence the screaming and crying. Basically, time will heal her. She needs to feel safe, secure, and back to her routine again. Get used to the new normal. I was worried the change would be hard for her- which we why we moved in SO quickly, and I wanted her room set up/painted right away. She seems to be doing better- shes not screaming and crying all night. But when we first put her to bed, she screams for a few minutes- the doctor said let her get it out and scream....even if it lasts for an hour. ugh. She is doing awesome at daycare but still struggling at home. It has been rough.

Now rewind a bit. My in-laws are allergic to cats, so we had to take Moose to my bosses house for the week until we moved in. We got him back Sunday (after the night in the ER and discovering the break in), and knew right away something wasn't right. We chalked it up to all the change, cats don't do well with stress/change. So I decided to give it a couple days and if he didn't get better we'd take him to the vet. He wasn't eating or drinking, litter box was empty, he was throwing up all over the place, and you could feel every bone in his body. Wedns morning I decided it was time to take him to the vet, so I got an appointment for that afternoon. I got off work and took him in. Let me just start with, I was only there for about 45 minutes...

As soon as they started examining him I could see it all over their face it wasn't good. I started getting a little upset but was trying to keep it together, I figured we'd give him an IV and some meds, and he'd be just fine. There was a lot of talking going on and I finally just looked at the vet and said " Are you trying to tell me we need to put him to sleep?" and she shook her head yes. Then, I just started sobbing. Full blown, moaning, sobbing. She said he was too far gone. That it was his intestines, and even if we tried surgery her honest opinion was that it wouldn't do any good, and would cost us thousands of dollars. I said I'd go home and talk to my husband, and call them if we decided to put him to sleep. She kinda smiled at me, sadly, and said " I wouldn't recommend you take him home, he is clearly suffering." So not only was I losing my cat, they wanted to but him to sleep RIGHT then. They left the room so I could call Joey, and as soon as he answered the phone I just cried and cried in to the phone, while holding Moose. I couldn't even get the words out. He immediatley left work. The next phone call was to my dad- without even thinking I called my dad and told him what was happening, and that I wanted to bury him next to my cat Shadow (who I had from middle school till I was about 23) at his house.
The vet came in a few times to see if I was ready, and I wasn't. I knew they were getting ready to close, I just couldn't make myself hand him over. I wanted to be with him but she said it may be hard to see- that since he was so dehydrated he may have some seizures and it may be hard to find a vein,etc. I selfishly decided not to go with him, and I've been kicking myself for it ever since.

Kissing him and hugging him one last time, and handing him over to her- was hands down, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I am heart broken over it. He was the perfect cat, my little buddy. Always with me, sleeping in between Joey and I every single night- I adored this kitty.

(paw print the vet made me)

(burying him next to Shadow at my dads)

(last picture of my guy, at the vet)



I walked out the door, with my dead cat in a box. Crying all across the parking lot not caring who saw me or what I looked like. I have no doubt I was ugly crying, Kim K style. Heartbroken. I drove straight to my Dads, and Joey was already there. He and my Dad dug his grave, we buried him, and then went home.

I've cried every single time I think about him. The whole vet visit was traumatic. I've never had to put an animal to sleep, ever. I keep replaying it over and over in my mind. I wish I had taken 5 more minutes with him, whether they were closing or not. I wish I had been unselfish and gone in the room with him when they gave him the shot. The house feels so different without him here. I immediately printed pictures of him to put up so we could see him everyday, and every time I stop and remember what happened- I get choked up.



I could go on, but I'll stop there.


The very next day we realized our gas wasn't on. (again, really? what else??) I spent the day battling with the gas company, crying my eyes out over Moose, and feeling so very low. This was not the amazing, celebratory first week I expected in our new home we worked so hard for and love so much.

It got a little brighter when we got the gas turned on that day instead of 6 days later- thank GOD (its cold!). The shelter we got Moose from reached out and I had been filling them in on what happened. They offered me another kitty, and I just couldn't resist. Joey quickly agreed, and bam: meet Baxter.


part of me felt guilty, it was SO FAST after Moose. but the stronger, more selfish part of me did it anyway. I wanted to fill that void, I didn't want to be sad, I needed this cat. He is very sweet, VERY playful, and a beautiful kitty. He isn't Moose- he just isn't. He isn't as cuddly and he is still having a hard time with the dogs. Moose was SUCH a cuddler, and played with the dogs almost right away! But I know its not fair to keep comparing them. We both keep catching ourselves calling Baxter Moose, just out of habit. He has definitely helped lift the spirits in this house- and Adelynn doesn't seem to know whats going on. Which I'm thankful for and was worried about. She LOVED Moose-- but when she saw Baxter she laughed and said "Kitty!!" so I think we're good as far as she goes. I was scared to death about ONE MORE change for that baby girl, she can't handle anymore change.



Needless to say, I think I'm a tad depressed. and I have no shame admitting that- I mean shit, we have had a very rough two weeks. Moose is what gets me the most- it just hurts my heart so badly. That and Adelynn having such a hard time. I look at this child and don't know who she is! We were so spoiled with our happy, laid back baby. I'm looking forward to her getting more comfortable, calming down, and getting back to her normal self.

I'm just exhausted, and sad. Period. BUT...we love our home. And despite everything we're glad we made this happen, and very proud of ourselves for what we've accomplished. Nothing Joey and I have done has ever been easy, but in the end it makes it that much more sweet. We've worked our asses off for everything we have, and we take serious pride in that.



so there it is. an update on life.




WELCOME to the world, our third nephew Bryson Monroe Rogers <3 p="">
RIP Grandma Brown, we love you so very much <3 p="">
RIP Moose, you are loved so much more than you ever knew <3 p="">