8 weeks old!

My baby girl is 8 weeks old tomorrow! where does the time go?? I feel like shes been here forever, but born just yesterday all at the same time!

This is my last week home on maternity leave, and its going by WAY too fast. I've had to start trying on all my pre-pregnancy work clothes, plan dinners/lunches, get together all her things for daycare... not fun. Its breaking my heart thinking about leaving her. I told Joey I may have to say my goodbyes here at home and let him take her that first day- so I can have time to get myself together before walking into the office! Its been amazing being home with her, I can't begin to explain how less stressed I've been. This is hands down the happiest few weeks of my life, all cause of her. I love spending my days with her, coaxing her to smile, taking photos/videos like crazy, just being a wife and mommy. THIS is what God put me here todo. Hopefully one day I CAN be a stay at home mom, we've made it our goal to make that happen but I know realistically it won't happen anytime soon. Wondering how I'm going to work 40+ hours a week, pick up baby girl, get home cook dinner, take care of her, get up to feed her in the night and do it all over again the next day....everyday. I see lots of coffee in my future!

Adelynn is drinking 6 oz bottles, and ALMOST sleeping through the night. I only get up once with her at night, feed her/change her, and she goes right back down. Sunday night she slept from 9:45pm-6am! I think that was a new record! After I fed her she went back down for a few more hours. She is AWESOME. She smiles all the time now and its my most favorite thing, she is so adorable when she smiles! She has started cooing and this past weekend we even heard a giggle! We've been trying to catch it on video but haven't been quick enough yet! Shes still super laid back, never cries, loves bath time... I can't say it enough- SHE IS AWESOME!

I hope when I go back to work I can still keep her journal/baby book up to date. I've made it a point to work on it once a week, which is easy while I'm home! I just hope I don't get too caught up with work/life to keep it going. Its one of my favorite things to do!

I love this baby girl with all my heart.

First Road Trip!

This past weekend was Adelynn's first road trip! We left Saturday morning to head to Charlotte for Lilly's 2nd birthday. She did awesome in the car- such a laid back baby. Aunt Claire finally got to hold her God Daughter, and Uncle Nick finally got to meet her! Along with everyone else: Denise and Randy, Lilly and Brynn, Uncle Mike, Darvy, James, etc! So many people to meet :)

She did wonderful at night, only getting up once! It was weird having her in the room with us since she's been in her crib all along- but as always, shes an awesome baby and it was just easy peasy all weekend long :) We had a tent set up outside near the pool, and pack n plays/cosleepers/exersaucer set up for Adelynn and Brynn to hang out in. That along with meme and papaw- and Joey & I were able to enjoy some time in the pool! Adelynn got lots of fresh air and I think it did her some good :) Overall we just had an awesome weekend! I was nervous about traveling with her the first time but she did amazing!

She's still drinking 6 oz and sleeping ALMOST through the night. She goes to bed around 9:30pm and wakes up around 4am, then back down till about 9:30. She's awesome! (have I already said that!?)

I'm trying to soak up the next 2 weeks I have with her before I have to go back to work, not taking a second for granted. It will be so weird being away from her all day long- NOT looking forward to it, lots of tears on my part I'm SURE.

I'm so glad she's so happy and healthy, and finally here. We prayed so hard for her! After we lost the first baby last summer I was worried we'd never make it here. I still think about that baby all the time, and I'm still so sad about it. But I'm thankful for Adelynn and one day I'll tell her all about that baby- who I think its safe to say, was Shelby. We kept going back and forth on the name but finally realized that was his/her name. I think about Shelby all the time and prayer for him/her constantly. I hope that little baby knows how loved and wanted they are.

I want to remember every little thing about this whole experience from start to finish, so I can tell Adelynn one day. I know when I was younger (and even still now) I loved going through old family photos, hearing stories, etc about my parents and family. Because of that I've started filling my hope chest with things for Adelynn: baby shower cards, cards from flowers sent to us, I've taken pictures of her room and our house, maternity pictures, bump pictures,etc. to show her one day, I've been adamant about working on her baby book and writing down every little thing/filling it with pictures, I've been consistently printing out pictures to stick in an album, I even started a journal for her- I write in it to tell her funny stories about her, or the people she meets, just the every day stuff, my first mothers day, etc. I want to continue collecting all of these pictures,and memories so she can have them when shes older. I even have the promise ring Joey gave me stashed away for safe keeping so we can give it to her one day :) I just don't want to forget a THING!

I adore her more than words can say, I love being a mommy and I love my sweet girl with all my heart!

6 weeks old!

6 weeks!? time is flying- and i'm not okay with it! i took adelynn to her check up today and she did awesome. she's 10 ibs 10 oz and 23 inches! nothing but good reports from the doctor! but they did have to give her, her 2nd Hep B shot :( she cried so hard! it broke my heart, but she settled down after a few minutes and went right back to sleep. she is an amazing baby- we're seriously so lucky!

she is ALMOST sleeping through the night- how crazy! she'll eat between 7-8 and we put her to bed around 10 (if not sooner). Then she'll sleep till 5am, eat, and go right back down till about 9am! Her days & nights are finally right, and life is much easier/smoother. Last night we tried out 6 oz and she SUCKED it down! i've fed her twice since then and she keeps sucking down 6 oz so looks like we've moved up! shes a great eater!

we've give her quite a few baths now (she finally has a belly button!) and she loves it, she is so calm and just kinda chills in the water while we bath her- i hope shes a water baby like me & her daddy! this weekend she'll get to sport her first bathing suit! we're hittin the road (first road trip!) to head to charlotte for Lilly's 2nd birthday party! POOL PARTY! Claire is going to have a baby pool set up for the little bitty ones so adelynn will get to hang out in there with me or daddy :) i'm so looking forward to this weekend, i miss the Soignets/Bakers SO MUCH and i'm so glad they'll finally get to meet adelynn! Claire, Aunt Mary, Brynn and Lilly all drove up the day she was born but since she was in NICU no one got to see her- except Claire, she couldnt hold her but we got her in there so she could see her God Daughter :) Kinda nervous about traveling with her the first time but she does awesome in the car, and i think everything will be fine- im way more excited to see everyone :)

i go back to work June 11- its sneaking up on me fast. i keep thinking we'll find a way for me to stay home but its just not realistic for us right now. i cant imagine NOT being with her all day, or someone else taking care of her. i feel like im going to miss so much. joey & i talk about it all the time, it breaks my heart. i'm just really trying to enjoy my time with her now and not think about it. i've never been happier in my life- and i dont wanna ruin it by dreading going back to work.

life has seriously never been better. having a baby has only improved and strengthened joey & i's marriage. we love each other more than ever! i've just never been THIS HAPPY. so stress free, just enjoying my days with my baby girl, and the weekends/nights with joey. i love everything about it.

and i'm finally on the mend! my incision is almost completely closed up and theres no more sign of infection! i go for my 6 week follow up on Friday- will be happy to be done with the doctor for a while! i finally feel normal again, like myself. and i've been blessed with my weight- i was sure i'd have such a hard time losing it. i'm not 100% sure where i started at the beginning of pregnancy- but i'm going to ask on Friday so i have a set goal in mind. i want to meet my pre-pregnancy weight and then lose even more. i was unhappy with my weight before i was pregnant, so while i have the momentum going i want to keep losing! i've lost over 56ibs since the day i delivered! a lot of it was fluid, i had SO MUCH fluid. but i think being home and not eating fast food everyday, drinking coffee or sodas, is really helping too. my portions are smaller, healthier, and i drink water like crazy! i'm in that "in between" stage right now. my maternity jeans are too big but my pre-pregnancy jeans are still too small. frustrating! but i'm back in size small shirts and sundresses which is awesome! at the end of my pregnancy was wearing a 2XL! just gonna try to keep it up.

overall life is amazing. i cant imagine life without adelynn- it has ONLY improved every single aspect of life. i adore her more than i can ever try to express. we are so lucky, and so blessed.

1 month old

My baby girl is ONE MONTH OLD today! holy crap time needs to slow down. It is just flying by!

4 weeks of motherhood- amazing. First couple weeks were rough with my recovery but I am finally on the mend. My incision is ALMOST closed up (so ready for that to happen) but not quite, my infection is gone, and I'm finally off of all the antibiotics! But enough about me ;)

My sweet baby- I adore her. She is such a good baby, I know everyone says that but we've really been blessed. She is so laid back- she hardly EVER cries. When shes awake, she is so alert- and already holds her head up on her own like crazy. She is eating 5 oz and going in 5 hour stretches! I think we finally got her days & nights right, and night time feedings are becoming a lot quicker/easier. She is just like her daddy (in a LOT of ways) , she is hot natured JUST like him. Our swaddling days were over a while ago, she kicks off her blankets almost immediately! She pretty much hangs out in a onesie and socks (so her little feet dont get cold!). Which is sad cause I have so many cute clothes I can't put on her cause they are fleece or long sleeve or pants, etc. bummer! She makes so many funny noises and faces, Joey & I have cracked up laughing so many times at our silly girl. We are so in love with her! I feel like we've gotten in to a good routine now too. Since I'm home right now I take night feedings during the week, and Joey does it Fri and Sat night to give me a little break. We've gone out with her a couple times and she does really well in the car! Things are finally starting to be the 'new normal' for us and I'm loving it. I LOVE HER, and love being a mommy. This is what I've wanted for so long and I finally have it, I feel SO blessed I can't even describe it!

As of right now I'm set to go back to work on June 11...so I still have some time. I love my job & miss my coworkers...but I wish I could be home with her. I can't imagine leaving her, or someone else taking care of her- it just breaks my heart. but for now I'm just trying to enjoy my time with her, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it and cry lots of tears when the time comes!

This weekend/next week our little girl will have lots of visitors! Anna and Troy are coming from Colorado to meet her! And next week Claire, Lilly, and Brynn are coming! They were here the day she was born but never got to meet her (except claire, she got to go in the NICU) or hold her because she was in NICU the whole time. So we're excited for her to meet everyone :)

Adelynn Grace

Guess who decided to show up? :) thats right-- our baby girl, Adelynn Grace Rickels. Born ON her due date 4/12/12 at 5:16 pm weighing 8 ibs 6 oz and 21 inches long.

Since then it has just been a whirlwind!

Where to start? I was cramping all day long on the 11th but no contractions. I bounced on my ball all day long, then when Joey got home we met his parents for dinner at Chili's. I also had slight spotting, so I was hopeful I'd be in labor soon. After dinner we took a walk around the neighborhood and then settled in for the night. We went to bed around 10pm but I couldnt sleep so I was watching netflix on my iPad- around 11:30 I had my first contraction- caught me totally off guard! Right away they were 5-6 min apart. I waited until 1:30 am to wake up Joey and we called the doctor. The doctor on call told me I could come in but theres a chance they would send me home. by 2:30 we were at the hospital and I was 2cm...20 minutes later I hit 4cm...and we knew it was game time. We called both our moms and they came up right away. The plan was for both of them and Joey to be in the room with me.

I progressed pretty quickly, and easily- once I got my epidural I was feeling AWESOME ;) and then we just waited to hit 10 cm so I could start pushing. We were sure I'd have her by lunch time! Everyone came to the hospital ( our parents, vicky, my niece, our siblings, etc.) and Claire, Aunt Mary & the girls jumped in the car to come from Charlotte. We had a FULL lobby waiting for our sweet girl!

After they broke my water, the doctor said there was meconium in the fluid. This is NOT GOOD. but the Doctor didn't seem worried. She said they would have a respiratory therapist and NICU come in, that they wouldnt let Adelynn cry when she came out until they could clear her lungs. Joey and I were worried because everything we'd read and been told...this was bad. but the Doctor seemed to be fine with it...

Around 11:30 I was stuck at 9 1/2 cm... they said there was the last 1/2 cm, a "lip" of the cervix they called it, that just wasn't budging. but the Doctor wanted to wait it out...I didnt find out until later but around this time is when they turned off my epidural cause they were sure I'd be pushing soon. It didn't take long for me to start having some serious pain. This is when things get fuzzy for me so I'll no doubt be leaving a lot out but I was a bit out of it...

I remember people coming in and out of the room, and my MIL crying in the corner. I remember Joey being really upset and continuously asking the nurses to do something. I remember my mom asking over and over if there was anything they could give me. I remember the doctor coming in and mentioning the word C Section. I don't remember a lot. I was so out of it, and so exhausted. The nurse had tried helping me push around that last 1/2 cm but we had no luck- I never went to bed the night before, and hadn't gotten any sleep since. Between that and the pain I was in and out of it.

After a few hours of THAT awful experience...the doctor called a C Section around 2:30pm. But scheduled it for 5pm....looking back I'm shocked she made me wait- especially since there was meconium in the fluid. They finally gave me back the epidural and I got some relief. Then we waited. This is when it hit me what was about to happen, and I just cried and cried. I was so frustrated- I'd worked so hard, and this was SO not what we wanted. But at this point I just wanted the baby to be okay.

A little before 5pm the nurse told me they were getting me back a.s.a.p...apparently my BP was high, my fever was 104, and the babys heart rate was low. They got me back there quickly, called the doctor in, and had Adelynn out within a couple minutes. They had me SO doped up I kept falling asleep on the table. I remember fighting so hard to stay awake, I wanted that moment- you know...where they bring the baby over, I get to see her, kiss Joey...but I didnt get it. Joey filmed her coming out, and her first few minutes of life- he was so sweet...he cried so hard! then he brought her over to me and I barely remember seeing her- I kept falling asleep. I remember hearing the word "infection" while they were stitching me up, and I remember thinking "me or baby??" and being so worried...but then off baby and Joey went and i was there another 30 minutes getting sewn up. When they wheeled me back in our room Joey and the baby were in the corner- but shortly after NICU took her away. This is when they told me both the baby and me had infections. Which meant no visitors. I told them I wanted to see my mom- and Joey tried to get her back there, but they wouldnt let anyone back.

We stayed in that L&D room till almost 11pm that night before they finally moved us to the Mother/Baby room. but we didnt get to see our baby girl until the next day. It was heartbreaking.

We were in the hospital Thurs-Sun before they finally let us go home. Baby girl was and is doing GREAT. mama not so much! They took my staples out too early (I'm not just saying that, the doctor said it!) and my incision got infected. So for the last three weeks they have had me on 3 different antibiotics trying to fight off this infection. I was having a really hard time eating, and when I did eat it would just come right back up. The meds were making me feel awful and the incision was making it hard to get around. OH YEAH! and my dang milk never came in- so much for breastfeeding. They wouldnt let me try to feed her in the hospital bc of all the antibiotics I was on- but I was pumping in my room to try to stimulate my milk...never got a drop. Even if my milk HAD come in, I wouldnt have been able to feed her cause as I said the last three weeks I've been on antibiotics...so much for that right?

My L&D, and recovery has been a MESS. It was traumatic, frustrating, disappointing- nothing like I thought or wanted it to be....but that baby girl? IS SO WORTH IT. She is beautiful, and has such a personality already. I love all her noises, her facial expressions- she looks just like her daddy. I love her SO much my heart explodes just thinking about it. Shes already sleeping in 5 hour stretches and drinking 5 oz of formula- she is an eater!


To everyone who prayed for us throughout this pregnancy, L&D, and since- THANK YOU. I can never say thank you enough for the prayers, the truly mean the world to us. And to everyone who has wanted to come visit and hasn't yet- I'm sorry we've pushed visitors off for so long-- we had a rough start to this and just needed time for me to heal a bit and get into some kinda routine, we wanted and needed time to be a family.

And to my mom and MIL? THANK YOU. They tag teamed in shifts so one of them was always here that first week- even spent the night a couple nights. They were GOD SENT! I seriously couldnt have made it through without them. I love you both so much.

I'm sure I'm leaving out a MILLION details and things I WANT to say- but this will have to do for now. I have a baby girl who is opening her eyes from a nap and needs her mama :)

40 weeks

well, my due date is this week. Thursday to be exact. I have an appointment with the Doc today so we'll see what they say as far as progress...my last few visits I haven't been dilated at all. So I'm honestly not getting my hopes up on the progress front. I'm thinking since my appt. is today but my due date isn't until Thurs they'll end up scheduling me another appt. NEXT Monday...and if I make it to that then we'll schedule an induction. Which I REALLY don't want to do.

I woke up today feeling defeated and emotional- but a big part of that may just be fatigue. I haven't slept well at all. Everyone was so sure she would come early that I started to believe it too. I want to make it clear before I get all the judgements... I'm not rush her for selfish reasons. or maybe it is considered selfish-- I just really wanted to go in to labor on my own, I really don't want to be induced or use pitocin if I don't have to. So I was trying to help her along and get things started. we tried EVERYTHING....

-Sex

-Nipple stimulation

- Eating a whole pineapple

-Pomegranate

-Raspberry tea

-walking, walking, and more walking

-Exercise ball

- Eggplant Parm

- Pressure points on hands/feet

I think the only thing I haven't tried is hot sauce or castor oil- and I don't plan on doing either...I'm not gonna make myself miserable and it NOT work! there was a full moon AND a storm last week so we were hoping that would help too. but got nothin'.

i'll get crampy, back pains, few contractions... and then it just stops. frustrating! yesterday morning i lost my plug, or part of it at least- so i'm hoping that means she will come on her own in a few days. fingers crossed.

so anyway...feeling defeated this morning. and exhausted. we're so ready to meet her, and I've hit that wall of just...DONE being pregnant. but shes still in there for a reason, and she WILL come out when shes ready-- hopefully this week. and if not...then medicine will help her along by next week. I just really hope we have this baby on our own terms this week. we'll see.

come on out sweet girl....we are so ready to meet you!

39 weeks!

well, 39 weeks- almost done! almost time to meet our sweet girl! joey and i were talkin' about it last night and we just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy went by!

today is my first day out of work; when i left on friday i still didn't feel like i was off yet but waking up this morning and realizing i didnt have to get ready for work...weird! i miss my coworkers already! but i honestly haven't been this relaxed/stress free in a long time. it was nice to wake up slow (especially after tossing and turning all night long) eat some breakfast, sip some coffee, takin' a quick walk, and now just relaxing with my pups! (i know they're glad i'm home too cause it means they aren't locked up all day!) i have a doctor's appointment today but not until 3:00.

over the weekend i had some more contractions/pains, and i can tell she's dropped more too. she's still wild as ever in there though! i'm not getting my hopes up about progress, last time i went to the doc i wasn't dilated at all, and i'm prepared for that again today. Just trying not to get my hopes up about anything. i'm ready to meet her, and ready to not be pregnant anymore lol, but at the same time- i know i'll miss being pregnant. i was blessed with a great pregnancy, these past 10 weeks have been rough BUT realistically i've been lucky. i just hope L&D goes smoothly and my baby girl gets here safely. i hope her and i are both okay and all is well!

i just can't believe how soon she'll be here. maybe this will be my last pregnancy post?? we'll see :) maybe i'll have one more! who knows?! Easter is coming up this weekend and we pretty much told both our families we're playing it by ear. I'll either be miserably pregnant, giving birth/in the hospital, or have a brand new baby. if i'm still pregnant we'll probably go to all the Easter celebrations: Saturday lunch with his family, Sunday lunch with my mom's family, and Sunday dinner with my Dad's family. but if i've just had her we'll probably hang out at home, as much as i dont want to miss Easter and seeing everyone (and all the great food!) i just don't want to take her out/expose her to that many people while she's so new.

i just can't wrap my brain around the fact that we get to meet her soon. i'm so so nervous about L&D still, but so ready for her to be here. i can't wait to see her, hold her, love her. i have so many thoughts running through my mind: how will L&D go? how will breast feeding go? will she be a good sleeper? how the HECK am i gonna make myself go back to work!? how will the dogs do with her? will i have a hard time losing the weight? plus about a bagillion more things running through my mind!

but more than anything? i cant wait to meet her :)