motivation?

who else struggles with motivation? Lord knows I do.

Theres so many things/areas in my life I want to change or improve...
-weight
-self image
-over all attitude
-stronger faith
-stronger friendships/relationships
.....

and the list goes on. All positive changes, so why so hard? Probably because its not easy making changes, and easy to stay in your ways. I've been praying a lot more and trying to hand everything over to God. I know He will be my biggest supporter in these challenges. I think people (aka..me) always look for the easy way, the short cut, we get lazy. I'm very guilty of this.

For instance, working out & eating right. I was doing well...for about a week! and then fell back in to my old ways. I have a membership to a gym, Joey & I grocery shop together..theres no reason why I shouldnt be at the gym or buying the right foods. SO why is it so difficult? I always say "I'm so tired...I just want to go home..." or "I ran out of healthy recipes, sick of eating the same thing everyday..." and just give up, cause its easier. But I'm consistently unhappy with how I look, I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself or like what I see. I lost that confidence, that sense of feeling pretty-inside and out. I beat myself up with negative thoughts, yet lack the motivation to get myself in to the gym. Its a vicious cycle. I want to love myself again and feel confident. I have my family's support, my friends, of course my sweet husband, even Miss Amanda Adams! She is such an inspiration to me and I am amazed by her daily!

or with my faith. We miss Mass and always feel guilty when we do- but we don't make ourselves get up and go. Why is that so hard? That should be the easiest thing, the biggest priority. Without God what do we have? Not to mention I have so many people around me, praying for me, supporting me, and being great role models in faith. Aunt Mary, MIL, Claire, Aunt Becky-- not to mention friends on facebook: Lauren & Mel, the ladies I've met in my new bible study: Marti, Joy, Adrienne, Erika... and of course my beautiful cousin Christina has always encouraged me. With all these amazing people you'd think it would make it even easier for me. I say I "forget" to pray- but looking at now, its not that I forget, its that I get distracted by less important things. God should always be my top priority- because again, without Him what else is there? I see all these amazing people in my life with such a strong relationship with Him- and I crave that! The sad thing is its nobody's fault but mine, I'm the only one holding me back.
This weekend I'm going to Charlotte with my MIL and Aunt Becky to meet Claire & Aunt Mary for a ladies Lenten Retreat at their church. I'm really looking forward to this and hoping it'll be a new start, to re-light that fire in my heart for God.

The thing is, I know I'm a good person. My biggest enemy is myself. I know I have it in me. Its like I keep waiting for this big shift, a big change inside myself. But duh kelly! I have to make it happen, its not going to happen on my own.

I really want to start making moves in the right direction. Its time to make these changes Ive been wanting, and I'm the only one who can do it.

So...here goes nothing.

Cheers!