keepin' the faith.

ok folks, pity party over. sorry bout that....

had a rough week, and it took me a bit to snap out of it. the biggest help was starting back at the dental office.

so grateful to be welcomed back with open arms. i stopped by a couple days before i started back and was welcomed with lots of hugs, smiles, and love. it seriously feels awesome to feel wanted, to feel like i'm coming back to family. it makes me feel even more that this is where i need to be. i did feel like a huge failure that working at home didn't work out after i'd worked so hard for it-- but, i'm more calm and clear headed now. it was nice to sit down on my first day back and just slip right back in to it, like i'd never left. great feeling!

i do miss seeing baby and joey in the mornings. i leave the house around 6:30 and joey gets up for work around 7:30 and baby doesn't get up till about 8. i miss seeing her every morning. it truly is my most favorite part of the day-- flippin' her light on, she pops up with a huge smile and gets so excited to see you! my happy girl. i love all the morning snuggles and smiles! so i'll miss that. but getting off at 3 gets me home about 3:30 so gives me time in the afternoon with her and to get some dinner ready.

overall i'm thankful. very very grateful.

we're still chuggin' along on selling the house. we MAY have hit a speed bump with the new home, me changing jobs...not the best timing. but we'll hear this week sometime if its going to be an issue. hopefully not, i want to move forward with it. so close to making it happen! hopefully all goes well, and we're able to sell our home!

so lately its been adjusting to changes, and focusing on the house. but tonight relaxin' on the couch i just kinda thought to myself 'man, i'm a lucky girl'

glad i finally snapped outta that funk.

insomnia.

ya'll. i can't sleep-- again. this is becoming a habit. and not the good kind. i'm so tired, then i lay down and my mind just goes to work.

i don't even know what to do with myself right now.

i feel lost.

when did i get so emo? we all know i'm on the emotional side but i feel like a lost, hot mess lately.

i feel like a failure, like i don't even know where to go from here. i had goals. one of them, probably the biggest most important one to me- is gone. the others, are in the works.

so now i lay in bed at night, sad. and just re-assessing the shit out of everything. what now?

i have so much to be grateful for, and i know it. i am blessed in many ways, have a lot that some don't. my needs are met. so what is my problem?

i guess, i just....don't know what to do now. like, struggling to even get my thoughts down right here and now. thats how jumbled up it is in my head.

i guess, i'm thinking i don't want to just go through the motions of life. i don't want to settle. i'm a determined and motivated person and i lost that a few days ago. i had/have all these goals i was constantly striving for- it was forever in the fore front of my mind. and now i'm low, so low that i'm just drawing a blank on all of it.


all i know is, the first priority is survival. taking care of my family in every way- so that i guess, is what i will focus on right now. don't get me wrong, that is always and will always be my TOP priority-- but i was always striving to do more than 'just survive'. more than going through the motions. more than just treading water. living life, achieving goals, REALLY LIVING and succeeding.


probably the lamest, most boring blog i've ever written in the 5 years i've been blogging. figures.

hopes crushed.

i can't sleep. i am so tired, but my mind will not shut up.

ya'll, this is me. officially giving up on having adelynn home with me. that is really hard for me to say, and makes me cry so easily. today has been a very very rough day.

i know it seems crazy, i mean i just shouted from the roof tops not too long ago about how my dreams finally came true. theres a lot to it, and for now it is just too private to lay it all out in such a public place. but there it is.

its done.

i've worked for this for so long. this has been my motivation, my drive, my goal- every single day since i was pregnant. to NOT have this goal/thought in my head is going to be so weird. my heart literally hurts. i feel like a big fat failure.

by the way, if you didn't realize, you've all been invited to my pity party.

baby girl will be back in daycare full time (again) tomorrow. so much for that. this bothers me for many reasons:

- i want to raise my child
- i don't want to miss a thing
- if/when we move we have to think about daycare. if we move too far she can't go where she is now, and i don't want her anywhere else. if she is in daycare at all, i want her where she is. but i also don't want daycare location to dictate where we move. make sense? vicious cycle.
- i just want to be a mommy and spend time with my child
- i want to save the money

being a mommy, is what i want. i worked hard, non stop, determined, motivated and finally achieved it. and now its gone.

so whats next?

hopefully sleep.

Official Listing

You can now find our house listed on various real estate sites, facebook, craigslist, and our agent's site as well!

SO EXCITING!

Heres' hoping we get some bites, and ultimately a great offer so we can move on up and outta here! we've worked really hard on the house, our realtor took some awesome pictures, and we're just patiently (or...impatiently on my part) waiting to start have some showings!


Fingers crossed all goes well!

http://www.lambrosrealtyllc.com/index.html

Project: Sell Our House

well, we're officially on the market ya'll!

we've been wanting to sell our home for about a year and we're finally doing it.

we bought this house and moved in when joey got home from army, we were 22, no kids, and newly married. perfect starter home for us. i love this house, we've put a lot of work in to it! but its time to move on to bigger and better things! the official listing with listing pictures from our realtor isn't up yet but will be sometime this week.

yesterday we spent 7 hours doing yard work  (and we're both feeling it today!). We accomplished almost everything we wanted to: weed pulling, digging up trees, weed whacking the front/back, cutting the grass front/back, pressure washing the sidewalk driveway, screened in porch, and ENTIRE house, hedge trimming front and back, and last night we rearranged our furniture to get the house 'show' ready. All that is left is some general cleaning & decluttering, and sometime this week I'm getting flowers to plant and pinestraw to put down. But we got all the hard time consuming stuff knocked out- proud of us!

we're looking to move to a 4-5 bedroom home, preferably in Lilburn. Most of our family lives out there, its where we grew up, and a good area too. We'll also look in Loganville (where we are now), Snellville, and Grayson. But before we can do that we gotta sell our house! Quite a few homes have sold in our neighborhood this summer, for great prices, and pretty quickly- I'd say in 6 weeks or less. One of our neighbors (with a home identical to ours) listed, sold, and moved out in about 3 weeks! So I hope we get that lucky and it happens quickly for us. we're excited to start looking at potential new homes, and get into something soon :) fingers crossed all goes well- we've worked our asses off to get here, so i really hope it all pays off.

I took a bunch of pictures, put all the home stats, list price, and our realtor's contact information up on FB, and up on a couple For Sale sites on FB too- just to spread the word and get some eyes on it. Our realtor will be over this week sometime to take the pictures once we finish everything, and then we'll hopefully get our home on other realtor's radars who are looking for homes for their buyers. I really hope it goes well.

we're working with Lambros Realty LLC and so far it has been an awesome experience-- they are bending over backwards to answer all our questions, and my million emails! Every step of the way they've been there for us. I have no doubt they'll help us achieve our goal!

Lambros Realty LLC

(770) 500-7386

lambrosrealty@gmail.com

http://lambrosrealty.weebly.com/

 

Hopefully we can start booking some showings and get it sold. I'm excited for whats to come in the future. prayers all goes well for us!

officially a work at home mom.

ya'll. it is happening.

as of now, i am officially a work-at-home mommy.

whoa.

anyone who knows me, reads this little blog, or puts up with me on FB knows loud & clear this is what i've been working for. in my perfect world joey will make millions and i can quit work totally to be a full time mommy & wife, but this is the real world- that just ain't happenin'. since coming to terms with that i've worked hard to find a way to provide for my family financially, while also finding the balance of work/mom/wife.

i did a trial week last week having adelynn home with me since daycare was closed. overall, it went REALLY well. i absolutely loved having her here, and felt way more like a mama then i had in a while. with her in daycare and me working- i really only got to see her for a few minutes in the morning, then when she got home we had an hour (maybe 2) of playtime/dinner/bath and then bed. so i felt like we had no quality time. after last week, it is now weird to be sitting here all alone without my girl. (she is in daycare right now).

i spoke to my bosses, joey, my mommy, my bff, etc. decision has finally been made- we're getting her out of daycare and home with me. exciting & scary! Exciting because i finally get to be a full time mommy and raise my baby. We will be saving a really good chunk of money which will help a TON. Scary cause i'm nervous about being able to really do this. yes last week went well, but i know there will be days/weeks that will just be hard and overwhelming, every day will be different and i'll face different challenges. i'm not a big fan of change, it makes me anxious! and i have a big fear of the unknown! thats just my normal kelly-ness. plus i know her spot at daycare will go quick, so we won't have that safety net of 'oh if it doesn't work out we'll just put her back in daycare'. we love and adore our daycare provider, she has quickly become part of the family.

i've also got to learn to let go a bit. let the house be a mess, realize i can't do it all, go with the flow and just take it a day at a time- figure out what works and what doesn't.

overall, this is a win.

nervous, excited, but overall ecstatic that this is finally happening. in two weeks, my girl will be by my side-always.

Thank you, God.

on the good ship, lollipop....

i have no idea who first showed me a Shirley Temple movie, but it is by far one of my favorite childhood traditions/memories.

i remember on christmas every year being so excited when my parents (or santa) got me a new Shirley Temple movie. i have quite the collection, all on VHS ha. There are still a lot i haven't seen yet though, which i'm dying to see!

and yes, i do know most of the songs from her movies- no shame.

i was looking for something to put on for baby to watch so i can work, and came across Bright Eyes on HBO! holy moly it took me back, and its in black & white too! so cool. baby climbed up on the couch and sat there watching silently with her cheerios in hand, before any singing even started. i would love for her to love these movies, i know i did. i'll have to get some to play for her when she is a little older.

in the mean time, i found out (thanks google) Shirley Temple actually wrote an autobiography! i know what i'm spending my birthday money on... ;)