mom life yall. its the name of my blog for a reason.
between adelynn's birthday this week, mother's day coming up, and just everyday life- motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately. hence my last post.
growing up there were a few things i knew: i wanted to marry young, and i wanted to be a mom. that was my great life ambition, all i ever wanted.
i got married young (21) , and the constant question came "when are yall havin' a baby??". its funny, once i got married and was expected to have a baby, i immediately wasn't ready! i pumped the brakes. i wanted to be married for a while. learn how to be a wife. mostly- enjoy my husband being home. while we were dating- it was long distance, all of it. we spent about a month and a half together total, in the same place, on the same ground. seriously. he visited home for two weeks, i visited germany for a month (he was in the army). the rest of our time dating, he was stationed in germany or deployed to iraq. we even had a 3 month break up during that deployment. then? we got married- spent two weeks together, and off he went back to iraq. we spent another six months apart before he was discharged from the army and home for good.
hence my hesitation to immediately start a family! plus, we were young- we had plenty of time!
and now? i'm a 28 year old mom of two, and it really is hard to imagine life before my babies.
to me, being a mom- means a lot of things....
- loving a tiny little human, my best friend and i created, with a love like you've never experienced-and will never understand till you experience it
- being so frustrated at times with that same tiny human, it blows your mind
- wanting sleep so bad, i literally cried over it
- having no idea what i'm doing, a lot of the time
- criticizing myself in the worst way, feeling like the worst mama ever created
- being puked on, pooped on, snotted on, peed on, and everything in between
- running on coffee, like a car running on gas
- going days without showering
- forgetting whether or not i brushed your teeth...or put on deoderant
- going shopping with goodies for myself in mind, and leaving with nothing for yourself and a ton of random things for your littles
- randomly looking at my babes, and just wanting to cry, because i just love them so much
- planning birthday parties for them 6+ months in advance
- wanting to give them the world
- googling whatever i can to help them feel better when they're sick, going to the doctor days in a row demanding answers, sleeping on the floor by their crib, and literally sucking snot out of their nose (nose freda, google it yall)
- the amount of grossness i encountered during pregnancy, delivery, recovery...and wanting to do it again and again
- singing adele at the top of my lungs every sunday on the way to church, cause they just love that song
- paranoia of forgetting memories, stories, good times and bad- so i document, every little dang thing. (hence all my pictures, videos, and journals to my girls)
- putting myrself last, so they are always first
- reading just ONE more book, cause they are adorable when they beg you to
- napping with them, in your bed. cause even though they think you're giving them this huge treat...its really a huge gift to yourself.
-selling my coach bags, michael kors bags, and every other designer thing i owned to get money together for their christmas gifts
- cleaning every friday i'm off work, so i can spend the weekend with my family without worrying about house work
- letting a teething baby literally chew on me, cause i know it helps the pain
- embracing every open mouthed, drool-filled kiss on the mouth
-sitting in the bathroom, a hot shower going, and rocking a sick little one for as long as it takes
- showing up to work exhausted after a long night of no sleep, but going in anyway ( no matter how badly you want to call out)
- using bath paints, even though it kills my ocd, cause it just makes their day
- having misophonia, but still snuggling that three year old chomping on cereal...right in my ear
- praying daily to be the best mommy i can be, but so thankful for their forgiveness on the days i fail
- worrying about their safety, their future, their hearts--constantly
i asked the facebook world what being a mom means to them, and here are a couple responses i got back:
Kristin says: ' its the most consuming obsession i've ever had. its the biggest reward i;ve earned for time spent something. its the happiest place i've ever been, it's the biggest goals i've ever dreamed about. and its the most love i've ever felt. it.is.everything.'
Kayty says:' it means shaping the future in hopes of creating a better life and future for someone you love more than your own life. it's understanding that there is something much bigger than yourself. it means that all of your life's pain is nothing compared to the joy and love you are now blessed with. it means sacrifice because no one else will. it means feeling every emotion in its entirety.'
and even a dad got in on the action (love it!), Nick says: ' it means you are the backbone of our nation!'
i couldn't have said it better myself. what does being a mommy mean to you? it has been rejuvenating for me as a mama to sit back and think about this for the past several days, i encourage you to do the same!
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