four year old adelynn.

My sweet Adelynn Grace,

Today, you are four years old. FOUR years ago you made me a mommy. The greatest gift I've ever received.

Our rainbow baby: the one God gave us after we lost our first baby. I didn't really like God then, but I'll never forget in the middle of the night- getting on my knees, tears streaming down my face BEGGING God to make that pain and heartache go away, to give us a baby. 

And then, He did. He gave us you precious girl.

You loved me, your tiny little self, even when I had a hard time loving you. I remember coming out of the fog of post partum depression , the realization that I didn't instantly madly love you- killed me. Broke my heart. How could I not? Those tiny fingers and toes, those little cheeks, those stunning baby blue eyes. But you loved me anyway. You never held it against me. I am forever grateful for your instant, and unconditional love.

Age three has been hard, but this year of your life was far from easy on you. You became a big sister, left your crib you'd slept in all your life and traded it for a big girl bed. You finally got rid of that passy, finally potty trained! You changed daycares, twice. You witnessed a time your parents had a hard time loving each other, and were being beaten down by life. 

But sweet baby, you are so strong! You did all of that! You forgave all the stress, tension, and hurt in our home. You turned it all around. Your excitement to learn about Jesus and attend church is a big part of what motivated me to go! God saved our family. And you witnessed it all, this whirlwind year. You showed us what it means to unconditionally love.

You are kind, such a sweet loving heart. You are sensitive, goofy, silly, and so incredibly loving. You love to laugh! And your laughter is contagious. You still want me to hold you, still ask me for snuggles. You'll run up to me randomly and smile saying "mommy, I just love you!"

You my sweet baby, make me want to be the best mommy I can be. And I'll never stop trying! You deserve the world sweet girl. I am so lucky God gave me you.

Happy fourth birthday miss Adelynn Grace- you are so very loved, and my wish is that you ALWAYS know that!