work & friends.

i have been MAJORLY slacking on blogging. i miss it. life has just been SO dang busy, which is always the excuse but its true.

i started my new job two weeks ago-- so far its going well, i'm still learning of course. i've been a project coordinator before but its different- not only because its a different company but its a Sub instead of a GC, different software, different procedures, etc. its going well and everyone is really nice! i have my own office- WITH A DOOR woo! ;) its added some time to my commute, so it takes me about an hour each way but its really not bad. its just cause of traffic- which isn't fun but i enjoy my coffee and listen to The Bert Show! i get 30 minutes for lunch which has been the biggest adjustment- i used to use my lunch hour to run errands cause i never have time after work. so thats been the hardest part- not too bad huh?

(just call me...corporate kelly!)

we've been hanging out with friends a lot lately-- friday night on the way home from dinner with friends we were both talking about how happy we are to have such an awesome group of friends, everyone gets along, and we're all on the same page in life- which just makes things so much easier. Angela & Patrick are expecting their first little one in January and Ash & Trey have their first due in December (on Joey's bday!). i grew up with P and Trey so have always loved them, but we've gotten closer now that we're all adults and i'm so glad they found such awesome wives. i adore all 4 of them and so does joey :) ash is joey's 2nd wife, and trey is my 2nd husband lol its our running joke and just goes to show we really love eachother! its amazing how alike the 4 of us are, scary actually! P has always been a brother to me and i'm so glad to have him, so blessed to know him, and so happy we're in each other's lives more & getting closer--and Ang has quickly become a close friend who i feel like i can go to about anything. i'm so glad they are in our lives, and consider myself lucky that we get to be in their lives and their new little ones. so excited adelynn will have some insta-BFFs ;)

( trey & ashley!)

(joey with his second wife ash, and me with my second hubs trey!)

(P and Ang-- and baby Faith!)

( the two pregos! cousins, 5 weeks apart! Ash/Amelia and Ang/Faith!)

i miss britt so bad-- i got so spoiled seeing her everyday at work, eating lunch everyday. i miss her :( we text and email as much as possible and hang out with the guys every chance we get. she came to see adelynn on Halloween, brought her a card/candy/toy- i thought that was so sweet. shes been there from the day i found out i was pregnant so its been cool to have her there with baby from day one. just goes to show how much she loves my daughter, and that speaks volumes to me. b and i have been friends since 9th grade, went off to college together, live in the same neighborhood, worked together, our husbands worked together- i am so glad this friendship has lasted. she is so important to me!

(Baby and Aunt B on Halloween!)

my gfbf Vik- i am so dang proud of that girl its not even funny. i dont get to see her as often as i'd like, mommy/wife/life/work keeps me busy :( i miss her and our coffee dates. when joey was deployed vik was my other half and i saw her on the reg! she is doing amazing, as i always knew she would. graduated, working full time at gwinnett medical as a surg tech-- i couldnt be more happy for her! her bday is coming up and we're doing our tradition for the 4th (or is it 5th?) year in a row! dinner, twilight tshirt, movie! sad its the last movie in the series :(

(my pretty gfbf and her pup, RIP Jun!)

Neen, my neen! she and i have been sisters since 5th grade! she got married in Sept. and her, J, and shell bell moved out here to loganville- couldnt be happier! life keeps us both busy so i don't see them as often as i'd like, but shes the friend that we can pick up where we left off no matter how much time has passed. she has kicked ass in life, and i am so proud of her.

(my neen and J after saying' i do' !)

i guess this blog turned nostalgic huh? just feeling so thankful for our friends, and all these awesome people in my life.

adelynn is going on 7 months old, jeesh her first bday will be here before we know it!! she said Da Da yesterday and hasn't stopped! joey grins so big every time and cant get enough :) its pretty dang cute. i've been trying to figure out what i want to get her for christmas!! SO FUN!

lots going on. but for now i'm hittin the hay. hubs is watchin the falcons (am i the only one who could care less about football??) and i'm dreading the work week starting! weekends need to be longer! so i'm signing off for now and going to relax for a bit before sleep! really hoping i can get back to blogging more- i enjoy it, whether people read or not- I LOVE it. so hopefully i'll be back :) for now i'll leave ya with some cute pictures from baby's first halloween!

*cheers!*

6 months.

Running a little late with this one....whoops! 6 MONTHS! HALF A YEAR! I cannot believe it.

At 6 months.....

-17 Ibs 13 oz
-26 inches
- 2 teeth
-2 naps
- 3 bottles
-CRAWLING all over the dang place, shes a quick one!
- Pulling up to stand on everything, and so proud of herself every single time. She smiles at me like "look what I did Mommy!"
- Self soothing like a champ; got in to a bad habit of rocking her to sleep (selfishly, I LOVE IT) but after about a week we got her back to self soothing.
- Bed time is anywhere between 7 and 8:30.
-She smiles and laughs at everything, has started "talking and singing" to herself and LOVES TO PLAY!


All in all, as always-- shes awesome :) SUCH a joy, so happy, and I just adore her more than anything in this world!!

I took her monthly tutu picture in the same onesie and headband from her very first one at 4 weeks, just to compare :)

Ch Ch Ch Chaaaanges...

Well, a LOT has changed since my last post. I've been slacking big time the last month on blogging, things have been CRAZY!

First the biggest change-- I start a new job soon. CRAZY. I was with the same company for almost 3 years,  I was comfortable there, comfortable in my job. I'm so proud of how far I came-- I started there as a front desk receptionist, but in my time there managed to get moved to 3 different positions. I assisted Accounting for a while, then was a Project Manager Assistant, and finally a Project Coordinator. For someone like me who did NOT graduate college, and only having experience as a receptionist, this is a huge success for me personally. Leaving was a hard, emotional decision. I feel like its a private matter as to why....so I'll leave that one alone.
BUT, this new job will be great for our family. Finally some benefits-- lord knows we need health insurance! (don't worry, baby has it) Its been SO LONG since we've had insurance, who knew I'd ever be so excited!? The fact that I'm starting this job as a Project Coordinator, really makes me proud. Maybe its not a big deal, but for me it is. I'm not starting off at front desk, reception, or as a secretary and having to work my way up. I'm starting right where I want to be. I'm nervous, like the first day of school-- all new people, new company, new procedures to learn...its intimidating but I see it as a fresh start. I'm looking forward to starting, and being seen as an adult- finally. NOT a kid! I'm going to get all new, PROFESSIONAL clothes, and really try to start off on the right foot!

In the meantime, I have two weeks at home to play SAHM with my baby girl :) I'm really enjoying this time with her, its going to be hard to leave her again. (As I'm typing this shes sitting on my lap just watching!) She is FULL BLOWN teething so its been a rough few days, but we're hanging in there. I hate hearing her cry, it breaks my heart. And she seems to have developed a  bit of separation anxiety at night time- she wants to be held. and LORD do I LOVE holding her :) But as soon as I put her down she stands right up in her crib! We're working on it :)

Speaking of that-- we've had quite a few milestones here lately!

4 months: She started scooting
By 5 months she was FULL BLOWN CRAWLING! In the same night she stood up in her crib, and when we went in there to lower it we stuck her on the floor and she took off crawling!
Now she is 6 months and ALL over the place, she also can pull herself up and stand, she is so strong! AND...we have TWO teeth!

A lot happened all at once, she is growing so fast. She also had her first plane ride! We flew to Baton Rouge to visit Joey's family- she did amazing. She didn't cry at all, she was so laid back and really went with the flow. We had a couple rough nights there but I think its just cause she was over stimulated and hardcore teething. But overall she did awesome.

I can't get over how fast shes growing, it really does fly. Even with the teething she is so smiley and happy. Has so much fun playing, and crawling all over us. She is just HAPPY. Even with things being rough at night here lately, she is amazing. But maybe I'm just biased ;)

I'm looking forward to my new start work-wise. I still wish I could be home with her, but for now I'm content with whats going on. I think this will be just what we need, and be a fresh start all around.

No time for pictures-- miss adelynn is ready to PLAY! We're stayin' in our PJs all day and just going to lounge around and PLAY. Soaking up this time with her :)

Till next time..... ;)

drug addiction.

Zoloft? a drug addiction? you wouldn't think so!

Lordy lord-- this drug saved my life after I had baby girl, I was quickly diagnosed with a severe case of PPD so I NEEDED it. However...it's now become impossible to get off of.

You can see my PPD story *HERE*

I was put on the generic form of Zoloft, Sertraline. A low dose of 50mg I took once a day. It was like a light switch, it totally saved me. I was told I was required to be on it at least 3 months otherwise I would have a very likely chance of relapse.

Those little blue pills saved me. But, its very bitter sweet.

After my 3 month mark I decided to wean off. For a few reasons:

1. I had no insurance so it would be $25 every month for it

2. My Rx had run out (convienent) and my OB will only renew it if I come in to see her, which would cost me $78 out of pocket.

3. I eventually want to have another child, and there are TONS of studies on birth defects because of taking zoloft while pregnant.

4. I've never consistently been on meds and never really wanted to be.

So I decided to wean. It is a 4 week process (recommended by my OB)

Week 1 : take a pill every day

Week 2: take a pill every 2nd day

Weeks 3: take a pill every 3rd day

Week 4: NO MORE PILLS

I have failed, miserably...twice. The side affects are unbearable. For me they consist of the following:

Dizziness

Racing heart

Nausea

The 'shutters'

All flu like symptoms

It was impossible to go through all this while being at work, then coming home to my family. I was worthless. At one point I literally laid on the damn floor in my office, and I did NOT care who saw me. You know when you were in college and would get super drunk, and the room would be spinning? and it would be worse when you closed  your eyes? and the only cure was the 'wall trick' where you'd lay down, close your eyes, and put your hand flat against a wall? No..? Was that just me? (well p.s. it totally works!) THAT was how bad I felt, and I totally did the wall trick.

I think I've probably messed myself up even more by trying to get off of it twice, back to back. My chemicals are probably all kinds of imbalanced! I called my OB and spoke to her and a nurse, asking for help/suggestions...I was told I was doing it the right way and I just needed to suffer through it. amazing.

So my game plan now? Get back on it. Dish out the money for me to go in, see OB, get her to give me a little piece of paper and be on my way. Frustrating! BUT I think I need a break from the weaning business. Its too awful to keep feeling this bad all the time- been dealing with it for 2 months with zero success! I'll stay on it for a while before trying to wean again, but I really do want to get off of it eventually.

Don't get me wrong, Zoloft saved me from my PPD and I'll forever be grateful for that. If you need it, its a wonderful thing! Just be prepared to be on it for life, or go through hell trying to get off of it. I know people who have been on it for YEARS because they haven't been able to wean off of it. Sad story.

If anyone HAS tips to wean, do share- I'd love to hear them! In the meantime...heres' to my addiction ;)

5 months!

my sweet girl is 5 months old! hard to believe she is almost half a year old...crazy how time really is flying.


Some things about our 5 month old booger bear:


- Shes finally rolling over! once she started, she just did not stop- she rolls all over her crib now, its too funny!

-She is 'scooting' -- such a wiggle worm, i have a feeling she'll crawl early (which means we need to start baby proofing our house!) -she can def get where she needs to go!

-She is eating FOOD! We started with half a scoop of cereal in her last bottle of the night; now she gets an ounce of food and then 7 oz formula with half a scoop of cereal in her last bottle. We've done peas and carrots so far, and shes loved both! She eats 3x a day, 8am*1pm*6pm !

(wasn't going fast enough haha)

(i kept having to hold her hands down, she wanted to help!)

- She is still our happy, smiley girl. And it seems like the fussiness is slowing down some too- which is awesome, cause i love seeing her sweet smile :)

-She is still a momma's girl! which i love! i told joey not to get his feelings hurt, she'll be a daddy's girl soon and hate me-- for now i'm soaking up her preference for me :)

- Took her to the doctor and she's perfectly healthy and right on track! 14ibs and 25.5 inches! our tall, growing girl!

-She is obsessed with Delilah! always breaks out in a smile when she sees her, and tries so hard to grab her and pet her. Delilah is VERY patient with her, i can tell they are gonna be BFFs!

- She loves to play now, loves toys, being on the play mat- she is so curious and alert, always looking around at everything. its hard to stop myself from buying her every toy i see haha.

She is amazing through and through. i ADORE this sweet baby girl. Thank you God for the gift of Adelynn!

(months 1-4!)

Photo Shoot!!

(always gotta take a million to get one! but if ya ask me they're all cute ;) i also had to use my phone this time cause my camera was dead,bummer)

Struggle.

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

sigh. i feel like God is testing me a lot lately. i'm trying so hard not to get discouraged, but its difficult. i try to keep in mind there are people out there way worse off than us. we're blessed, i know that and remind myself daily.

my whole life i keep waiting for things to get easier, my WHOLE life. just seems like its one thing after another; in a way i'm glad because its made me tough, strong. but sometimes i just dont want to be strong. i'm exhausted by it. sometimes i want to be selfish and just 'do me'. i've always been a people pleaser, thats just who i am. its a blessing and a curse. i dont like when people are upset with me, or don't like me- it bugs me. but i'm also one of those people that will be a loyal friend, help any way i can, and be there 24/7. this is why i went to school (dropped out...whoops) to go in to psychology. i thrive on helping people. but it doesn't work both ways....when i ask for help or just need someone or something- it comes off as selfish and self centered. i hate that.

sometimes, i need someone too. i get let down a lot. i'm by no means perfect- not at all, far from it. i know i've hurt people, let people down, disappointing them- but its never ever intentional. my intentions are always good.

i just dont understand why things have to be so hard, so difficult. i'm so ready to catch a break and just have things be easy for once. i'm proud at how hardworking joey & i both are, everything we have was earned. we are the type of people that arent afraid of hard work, and earning our way. but sometimes i just wish we were lucky like others i see.

and i dont understand why sometimes the people closest to you, assume things that are so totally wrong. it hurts, and its frustrating. i would think these people would give you the benefit of the doubt. you would think. but thats not always the case. and its sad. i try SO hard never to make assumptions or judge a book by its cover- because you only see what people want you to see, let you see. you have no idea whats really going on, and thats their right--its their business. i find myself judging others and quickly try to snap out of it-- i try so hard to keep in mind that i don't know their story, and i don't need to make assumptions or judgments.

i'm just going to keep doing what i'm doing. working hard, never giving up, and trying to be the best person i can be. thats all i really can do. i can't do everything, i can't fix everything, be everything to everyone. my first and most important priority is my baby girl & my marriage, everything else comes second and i've gotta keep that in mind.

“Nothing is given to man on earth - struggle is built into the nature of life, and conflict is possible - the hero is the man who lets no obstacle prevent him from pursuing the values he has chosen.”

4 months.

Four Months Old already! I can't believe it!

 She has changed so much, check this out, these pictures are from 1-4 months:

Some random facts about my 4 month old baby girl:

- She HATES laying down now! She is ALWAYS wanting to sit up like a big girl. Even when we feed her she likes to be upright- it is too funny. She has a little personality now, and gets MAD when you lay her down, its so funny! We prop her up on her boppy on the couch, stick her in the bumbo, and she LOVES standing!

- She is now attached to certain things. She loves her doll- its soft, and rattles. She'll fling it around, chew on her, cuddle her, its adorable. Quickly becoming her bff :) She also has one particular blanket she likes. Out of all the blankets we have (and we have a LOT) theres one in particular that puts her to sleep without fail every single time! Its a pink fluffy blanket we got as a hand me down from Claire!

We've never really rocked her to sleep- from the beginning we tried to have her put herself to sleep, but we would pat her back while she was in her crib, make sure she had her paci to soothe her. But shes always been really good about going to sleep on her own. She fights sleep every time though- she wants to party! but as soon as we put this blanket over her, and rub it on her cheek a little- she is out like a light! Joey and I refer to it as the magic fluffy blanket cause it is our savior!

- She is still our sweet funny smiley girl, always laughing and cooing. But she has most def started teething! Drooling all over, fussy, eating more (probably a growth spurt in there somewhere). But she tends to be pretty easy to calm down, a bath/bottle/fluffy blanket and she's good to go :)

-She talks, A LOT! always cooing, chatting up a storm and its too funny, I really need to get it on video. its like shes having a full on conversation with us and I laugh every single time. She will definitely be a little chatter box when she does start actually talking!

-I feel like shes finally aware of the dogs, especially Delilah. Delilah has been curious of baby from day one always coming up to her, sniffing her, etc. (Potter stays away ha) The other night I was on the couch with Delilah (yes, we're 'those people' who have spoiled their dogs and let them on the couch!) and Adelynn, and all of a sudden their eyes locked and Adelynn reached out, pet Delilah, and smiled/giggled! Cutest thing EVER. I have a feeling they will most def be BFFs ;)

-She is SO CLOSE to rolling over, I'm surprised she hasn't already and part of me wonders if she should've already...gonna have to ask the doctor about that when we go next. But she'll ALMOST do it and then roll back on her back. I can't tell you how many times I've yelled "joey come here! shes almost doing it!" he'll come running in there....and nothing lol. SO CLOSE! I'd bet it'll be anytime now.

-She eats 8 oz of formula at 8am, 1pm, and 6pm . Her 6pm bottle has half a scoop of cereal in it. And she typically goes to bed around 9 or 9:30pm and sleeps till about 8am the next day. Shes AWESOME. We've been putting cereal in her bottle but last night we tried spoon feeding it to her- she did pretty well, had it ALL over her lol but she got a good bit down. I think she got frustrated though cause shes used to suckin' down a bottle, and this process was just not going quick enough for her lol.

- She did great at her baptism :) I was nervous cause she really hadn't had a nap and was a little fussy, she was just so tired. then during the baptism the Deacon drenched her whole face with the holy water- I was SURE she'd freak but she was good! She loves bath time so that probably helps ;)

She wore my baptism gown, which was SO special. And her God Parents (Nick & Claire) gave her a bonnet, that one day will turn in to a hankie on her wedding day :) I'm so glad she's finally baptized! I originally wanted it done within the first 4 weeks, but recovery was so hard on me it just didnt happen.

Overall, shes still our amazing happy genius zombie baby ;) I adore her more and more everyday. She is THE best part of my day. It doesnt matter what kind of day I've had, when I walk in & she sees me- her whole face lights up and she gives me the biggest smile, and it melts my heart every single time. I've never loved anything or anyone like I do her. If I was guaranteed all our babies would be like her- I'd have 10 more!...not really but you know what I mean ;) 

We are so blessed, and I never ever take it for granted.